Can you please, please, please...

Can you please, please, please...

 

 

 

Can you please, please, please...

Not run away with any other guy!?

:')

Huh this is probably my 100-th try...

I'm writing it all down...

'Cause, you never know...

Doubts are grinding me like a biggest industrial grinding machine. Hm...

I will beg on my knees.

Will blow you a breeze! :)

(Huh are you sweating this situation also - or is it only me?)

While you are here I'd like to know you better...and...

Thank You with a present.

Hopefully something we can both together choose to be one...and something that will in the same time make you too-happy.

:)

***I sent you a longer email about it but with absolutely no reply - to no avail. Maybe spam filter, hacked email...who knows. We are living in the hardest times...Be very careful! I will never send you stupid, fake, deluding, angry...emails.

Since at least last few years, with great reasons, I Absolutely Do Not Trust applications, emails etc...

When living in a Today's Society it is unfortunately better for you to highly doubt everything.

I want to thank you for the happy and the sad tears and my worries and every-thing...

I really do! :)

You simply overwhelmed me.

Like, like, like An Angel. (?)

That's why now I'm soo-happy-bit-sad! :'D

There is way too many things I've written down. But the events are jumping third above fifth above eight above second and so on...

One above or before or after another - like the wildest craziest rabbits.

There is a bit of chronological disorder in my texts...

And all are so important... :)

There simply isn't enough time for the writer to catch up with all of the thoughts and events. :D

I mean...really??? :O

So, ideas and events are 'booked' but waiting.

If I would firstly try to make them all perfect or even only the best ones, as songs...huh tree seeds could easily grow into pretty big trees lol...

Pardon my emotions.

They are like wild horses.

I can't hold them.

Untamable.

(Yeah...speaking of which...

Before some probably five years ago there was one to me unknown girl on the horse very rarely showing up from out of nowhere, here by the road, and I later joked with myself...I'd ask her to go there, to now I see, your country.

On horses, together. Can you imagine? LoL. (!?) )

But you are the one 'guilty' or the one to Thank You for it.

My wild horses, I mean - emotions.

Which one would you like to be more?

One I will need to chase by foot across the mountains until you completely lose you breath and your legs give up on you - like a true Warrior Princess or...

You shall perhaps just peacefully surrender, claiming with an utmost surprise that you are all totally innocent and unaware of my 'peculiar mind constructions' - without of even a sign of a sweaty fight!? :P

I really dunno...

(Feeew....

Feeeew...

Whaaat!? :O

Hey...calm down...easy with these sharp arrows!!! What's the matter with you!?)

...

...

Hopefully I'll hug you.

At least once.

In this lifetime.

And feel and hear how you heart...

Beats.

Or jumps.

Huh...uh...

Yeah.

Crumbs mean so much to me...

...

...

And maybe, maybe, maybe...

If we get along...

I can carry, carry, carry you on my back one day.

Because anyway, you are...perhaps one tiny bit crazy, crazy, crazy so you'll maybe jump on instinctively...anyway...

And...or...in front of me.

And...maybe...

One further day...

We can escape like that somewhere where...

No one, no one, no one will ever find us!?

And just maybe, just maybe, just maybe...

If Higher Love decides so...

We can cuddle, cuddle, cuddle there.

Until we absolutely fade into each other and melt in what will look like a big inseparable Wild Heart.

...

...

Or...

Or you can run away.

With that demonic guy.

Or whoever he is...

Which will I fear, again do something...

And that will truly break my heart.

Into what will look like...

The Saddest Fireworks.

You've never seen.

Or could have imagined.

Or even dreamed.

And the rain will start to fall from the highest highs afterwards.

And the sky will weep inconsolably.

Until your eyes simply couldn't hold it anymore.

And I will, now I think...

Never be able to feel the same for anyone else living, at all.

I don't think I can love.

Anyone else the same, after you.

Or at all?

I never got such a feeling...before...

Never thought about it.

But strangely now I do...

I hear 'any - more' like it's trying to traverse...God...please...it can't be...

It can't be!

...

...

I guess I can't break it indefinitely.

In the beginning I thought your most smiling picture was way too much because you know - you are smiling so wide and your teeth are so 'scarily' big :D

But now, now, now...

I like it so much!

Because you are so happy there!

I enjoy when I see you so happy Inside-Out.

It makes me so Happy!

And again tear is slipping down my face.

Only thinking about it!!!

(Oh fu**...)

What have you done to me??

Sincere kindness

&

Normal craziness

Is literally impossible to find.

I don't want to love someone else.

Who will look me in the eye and lie.

I don't need rudeness and disrespect...no thanks...

Does that sounds so tragic?

I don't want it to sound almost like a blackmail or a tragedy. When it's simple facts...

No, no, no...

No...

I dream about simple & clean Love.

No figs in the pockets.

No pressure and fears.

Ok - some fun and teasing, testing and wild behaviour - of course yes...lol

But hidden inside...

Sincerity and loyalty rooted so deeply and never faked.

Am I too much of a Dreamer? :)

Probably, but I'm even more so, too Stubborn in never losing Hope lol

I still don't know how to explain...

I have an urge and it won't let me go.

Either you'll 'kill' me being with me.

Or you'll really kill me rejecting me.

Uhhh...

There is no third option...

As I said...

Either way you'll kill me...

Dead_end-weird-funny-sad, isn't it?

Ok I can be your secret slave.

That could pass...

As 'in between'...or third option...

Believe me I would rather want to be a slave to you if you are really kind - than equal to a wrong person.

I would rather enjoy whatever you'd bless me with. No matter how little you'd offer.

"My legs are so tired I..."

(And I'm already there before I even heard how the sentence goes lol!!!)

Did I just write this down!?

Yep!

So it must be true...

Crumbs are all I dream about.

Girl...I want you to know...

I write too much on occasions but I'm always imagining crumbs.

These tiniest bits are so precious to me.

The sweetest.

Smile, touch, kind word...

...

...

Would you ever let me just hear it for a few moments? :')

Crumbs crumbled sparingly could last forever.

Kisses dosed.

Hugs almost only when the two can't resist it anymore.

Love, Oh The Sweetest Attraction.

Right measure in everything you do.

Can you even in your wildest imagination imagine how would I feel if you would just sit close to me, but without our bodies touching...

No...I doubt you can...

The Strangest Feeling.

The one I Treasure.

I can be happy with so little that those who do not understand Life, could call it overly pathetic.

Still, they would with all their 'riches' never be not even nearly as happy as much as me! :)

...

...

But that's all there is!

3 options.

You are cheekily-politely too sweet.

I can't stop thinking about you.

You are like a "incurable disease of constant sweetest itch" lol.

Maybe you are alive only in my head, though...

But still, you are in there!

I know you are - because I can see you inside!!! :))

In the Mirror!

And even if I would try to pull you out through my ear, perhaps...

To me it looks like as if you well prepared yourself beforehand to be ready to fiercely push back against the walls of my skull with your hands and feet so that I wouldn't be able to pull you out easily if anyhow at all - even if I'd wanted it...

I somehow doubt I could pull you out of my head without hurting you...

And why would I ever want to hurt you?

It is a complete disaster.

I know!

Unprecedented "Havoc"!

I must surrender and take my chances and die either way!

I never expected it to happen like that but...

Destiny is what it is...

Who am I to object?

So...

Now when you know one piece more...

Will you please, please, please...

Not run away with any other and the wrong guy!?

:')

Now, when You are here....

And when you wake up and your warrior shield is still on the morning floor...could you please let me know about the 'present' idea, no matter what will ever happen between us or not...

You really, really, really deserved it...

Do you hear me?

Yes, of course I'm scared, too - how wouldn't I be?

Yes, I know I like you too much, too soon.

It's weird...

And I apologize...

But..

You really, really, really deserved it...

And it will make me unimaginably more happy if I can just somehow make you too-happy, too.

No matter what will be afterwards.

:))

Shhhhhhhhhhh

It will be only our own little Top Secret.

<3

*****

Ohhhh the words available to me simply cannot explain how I feel.

It bothers me so much...

You wouldn't believe me...

On morning, 30 of June 2022, around 02:45, after I was being writing a Song for you in Croatian language, I found...

Red Threads Of Destiny... (!?)

On my chair and bed...

I have absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely, absolutely - no idea where from or how they be-came into reality!?

Another indication or what!? :O

*****

***Maybe I will update this***

(Written 19.6.2022 – 12.7.2022)